


Changes

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related, No Slash, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-25
Updated: 2003-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:05:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: How Justin feels about his first encounter with the illusive Brian Kinney.





	Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. On Liberty Avenue, the queers don’t hide their sexuality; they flaunt it. Every where I turn I can see guys kissing guys, girls kissing girls, and men with gender issues dressed as hideously made up women. But it feels so right. For the first time in a long time – ever since I began suspecting that I was gay, I feel normal, like I’m not some out of place freak. So why am I so afraid? Because I’m a seventeen year old, inexperienced little boy who looks like he’s out past his bed time is why. I’ve hardly ever been with a girl before, let alone with another man. Will anyone here even want me? They all look so…intimidating. But if I turn back now I know I’ll never do it. Like they always say, it’s now or never. I take a long drag on my newly sparked up cigarette and step forward into and past a puddle with a splash. The bright lights of all the clubs beckon to me seductively, but I don’t know which to choose there’s so many. I see an oldish looking guy leaning casually against a lamp-post. I’ll ask him what he recommends. I approach him, dodging the crowds. 

“Excuse me,” I say. “Err, could you tell me like, where’s a good place to go?” That wasn’t too lame. 

“’pends what you’re lookin’ for.” He says easily. “If you want twinkies go to Boy-Toy, or if it’s leather you want go to meat-hook. If you want snotty conceited ass-holes who think they’re better than everyone else, try pistols.” He looks at me. “Bit late to be out though isn’t it? On a school night and all?” he finishes patronizingly. “Why don’t you just come home with me?” the thought was repulsive. 

“No thanks,” I say, wondering if he’ll get mad. 

“Go on home to your mummy,” he says condescendingly. I don’t move. “Go-on,” he continues dismissively. Rude-ass prick. I walk away trying not to look too hurt, but he’s really put a damper on me. Maybe I should just go home; they obviously aren’t a very nice bunch of people around here. 

I lean dejectedly on a lamp-post, contemplating defeat. I feel eyes on me and look up, and for a moment I think I can’t breathe. He’s tall, dark, and definitely handsome, with a lean torso defined easily by his tight t-shirt, and long, long legs that seem to go on forever. He has dark eyes and voluptuous lips, and his hair is tousled and says, I know I look good. He is staring at me. I try to look nonchalant as I see who I can only assume are his friends, exchange knowing, defeatist glances. He strides towards me purposefully, stopping only a few paces away. He’s terribly good looking. 

“How’s it going?” he says in an easy, coy voice, and I know he’s got me. “Had a busy night?” he asks, as if he knows I haven’t. 

“Yeah,” I reply coolly. “Just been checkin’ out the bars, you know?” I think I should reel off some names so I sound knowledgeable. “Toy-boy, Meat-hook.” 

“Meat-hook, really?” he sounds amused. Shit, I sound so immature. I blatantly don’t know what I’m talking about. “So you’re into leather,” he asks, I’m sure deliberately to make me squirm. But I don’t budge. 

“Sure,” I say defiantly. 

“Where you headed?” he says, and I can see that this is what he really wants to know. 

“No place special,” I say. God, I’m nervous. I’m sure he must be able to hear my heart beating in my chest. 

“Good,” he says, and grabs my hand, pulling me to his jeep. He motions to the door and I get in, glancing curiously at the three other men who are standing beside it with expressions of abject fury on their faces. 

“What about us?” one of them whines. 

“You can run with Ted,” my suitor says over the roar of the engine before speeding off. 

“Thanks a lot,” I hear one of them call, followed closely by, “ASS-HOLE!” he obviously does this a lot. But I don’t care. He casts a glance in my direction. 

“What’s your name?” he asks, and I start. 

“J-Justin,” I stammer, wishing to god that I could be more cool. He nods as if this means nothing to him. The rest of the short journey passes in silence, and I’m so nervous I’m surprised my fingers don’t break the way I’m wringing my hands in my lap. This is a bad idea. He could do anything to me, he could be a weird axe-murderer, and I’ve just gone and fucking got in his car with him because I want him to fuck me. Somehow I get the impression that a lot of people want him to fuck them. 

We arrive at a building and I look around as the jeep screeches to a halt. It doesn’t look very nice. Maybe he’s poor. But as he opens the door I realise how wrong I was. I stand in the door way of his loft-like apartment, gawping. He looks at me as he opens the fridge, having already strode in and lobbed his coat across the room. “Coming in?” 

“Huh?” I say stupidly, his voice having started me out of my awe. “Yeah.” I say, and then take the biggest step of my life, across the threshold. “Shut the door,” he says without looking round. I turn back foolishly and do as I’m told. When I turn around again he’s peeled off his shirt and is holding a bottle of water in his hand. He slowly un-screws the top, and pours water all over his head and into his mouth, shaking off the excess like an animal. I stare dumbly at him, scarcely able to believe that I’m here, in this man’s apartment, and he’s about to fuck me for the first time. He must be at least 28 – 30, even. That’s nearly twice my age. He has the experience, I think, trying to look on the bright side. But here I am though, gawky and immature. Will he laugh at me? 

“This is a…really nice place,” I say, trying to make conversation. “I like your…kitchen.” Why am I such a nerd? 

“Do you like special K?” he asks. 

“It’s ok,” I say, taken somewhat aback. “I like cheerios better,” I add as an after thought. He laughs as if he thinks I’m cute. 

“I don’t mean the kind you eat with bananas.” he says, holding out a bag of drugs. “My disco pharmacologist cooks this up for me.” 

“I’m really allergic to a lot of drugs,” I decline cautiously. I want to be stone-cold sober for this. “The doctor gave me penicillin once” I continue, trying to explain myself. “It nearly killed me. And…Tylenol” I say lamely, wanting to make it look like I’m refusing the drugs out of necessity. I don’t want him to think I’m soft. 

“Tylenol?” he says. “Nobody’s allergic to Tylenol; Tylenol’s what they give you when you’re allergic to everything else.” Shit. I’ve been busted. 

“Oh.” I say, slightly abashed. “Well…Codeine,” I say forcefully. “Codeine’s the worst. I get diarrhoea and start vomiting uncontrollably,” I say before I can stop myself. What the hell did I say that for? 

“Well we’ll be sure to keep that one on the top shelf,” he replies, taking down his unbuttoned trousers. “Out of reach.” He finishes, finally removing his underwear as well. I gulp. I’m still fully clothed; I even still have my coat on. I can’t help staring at his beautiful body. 

“Well?” he says, holding his naked arms out wide. “Are you coming or going? Or coming, and then going? Or coming, and staying?” I swallow nervously. What a choice! I start to remove my coat, and then fling it aside casually the way he did. I move into his arms, and they close around me. 

I feel him reaching down to unbutton my trousers, his lips so close to my neck I can feel his hot breath. And then his lips are in front of mine, and he leans in, putting them on mine. I feel his hand slide past my zipper and into my underwear. He is kissing me slowly, as if savouring me. Then he seems to get impatient and his kisses become more forceful, and it’s like he’s devouring me. I put one arm up around his shoulders as he undresses me with one hand, and strokes my dick with the other. I gasp as it starts to feel good. He continues to kiss me, striving to tug off my t-shirt at the same time. I can feel his hands now roaming all over my torso, sending tingles up my spine. 

All traces of my previous anxiety has gone, and I all I can think now, is that after tonight, 

Nothing will ever be the same again.


End file.
